Mah Ken Jie
36 Chestnut Terrace
Singapore 679143
U0606736@nus.edu.sg
30 August 2009
Human Resource Department
Flowserve Pte Ltd
10 Tuas Loop
Singapore 637345
Dear Sir,
APPLICATION FOR FIELD SERVICE ENGINEER
I am writing to apply for a field service engineer position in your company in response to your job advertisement in the Straits Times classifieds on 29 August 2009 as I feel I have the necessary qualities to succeed in your company.
I am currently pursuing an honours degree in Electrical Engineering, expecting to graduate by May 2010 and I am seeking to start work after that. I have taken courses like electrical energy systems and electric drives and done well in them. These modules have provided me with the necessary knowledge in pump systems which helps me to fit in to one of your requirements. Apart from my academic training in the field of Electrical Engineering, my previous internships with two renowned engineering companies, SWTS Pte Ltd and Guthrie Engineering Pte Ltd, have given me hands-on experience and practical training in the field service engineering field. Thus, I will be ready for the job position if I am successful in my applications. I have also gained rotating equipment service experience in my internship as your company requires. Through my work experience, I have also confirmed that Engineering is the right field for me and I feel FLOWSERVE is an exceptional place for me to start my career.
Furthermore, during the days of my National Service with Singapore Police Force, I have had many opportunities to deal with the public daily, thereby building up strong communication skills and learning to deal with stressful situations. I rose to the rank of sergeant and had to handle the vast responsibilities and authority vested upon me. As a sergeant, I had to be motivated and act independently, which are some qualities your company seek.
My academic training and past working experience have taught me to approach various situations and challenges with both logic and flexibility. As such, I am confident that I would be able to contribute positively to Flowserve, with my technical skills and fresh perspectives.
I sincerely hope that you will grant me an interview and I will be looking forward to your favourable reply. You may contact me at 97661283 or 67669316.
Thank you for your kind attention and time taken.
Yours faithfully,
MAH KEN JIE
Enclosure : Resume
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Hi Ken Jie!
ReplyDeleteI think your second paragraph has too much details and you might want to consider putting some of the details on a separate paragraph as this will highlight your qualifications and skills better. Your letter will also look more organized. For your third paragraph, maybe you can cite examples that show how you handled challenging situations and some occasions where you had been a good team player.
I have a question though: Is the word application necessary on the heading/title of your letter?
p/s :I hope I didn't sound too critical as my job application letter wasn't well-written either. But we all have room for improvement right? Gambateh!
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I felt that your Cover Letter addressed the job requirements systematically, and hence it was fairly easy to follow through. I also liked that it was not too long and that you included very relevant examples.
However, when reading your Cover Letter, I felt that it does not seem to stand out very much. I do see that you have very good experiences, so perhaps an elaboration of what makes you unique or what you have taken out of these experiences could have boosted your Cover Letter.
For example, you mentioned that you took courses like electrical energy systems and electric drives which provided you with the necessary knowledge in pump systems. What makes you different from the other applicants with Electrical Engineering degrees then? Are those courses part of a specialization that the other applicants might not have taken? Also, you mentioned that you were part of the Singapore Police Force during NS, and that you had many opportunities to deal with the public daily, thereby building up strong communication skills. I felt that this could be a strong point if elaborated further too. Perhaps you could include that this experience gave you opportunities to deal with all people from all walks of life and it was important that you did so in an apt manner? This could further show that you succeeded in your experiences instead of just participating in them.
I also noticed that you did not address the requirements regarding willingness to travel to the stated countries, and on short notice. Is there a reason? Also, you mentioned that you hope to be able to contribute positively to the engineering community in Singapore. Because this job is looking for someone willing to travel, perhaps you might want to appear more global, instead of just addressing the Singapore community. What do you think?
Sorry that my comment is a bit long, very auntie hor? Haha. Anyhow, I felt that your Cover Letter had a nice, short opening and closing too. :)
P.S. I think you misspelt “Engineering” in the last line of your second paragraph?
Haha thanks wan wei and sheryl for your comments! I will look through and make more changes again. Don't worry Sheryl it is not auntie haha...and you are right Sheryl what a blooper I made for the spelling.
ReplyDeleteHello Ken Jie! I cannot wait to see you present for Peer Teaching in the upcoming lessons! However, now we got to get along with the application letter first. Firstly, I like your second paragraph. Great enthusiasm is shown in the second paragraph when you mentioned that you can stay work anytime after graduation. Next, I can see that you have lots of internships and the experience will be of good use to you in the application letter.
ReplyDeleteHowever, here are some suggestions for your attention:
-Is the email supposed to be below your address? (You might want to go check it out for the format)
-It may be a good idea to write down the job advertisement number or serial that is adapted from the Straits Times.
-Preferably express interest in the opening statement.
-In the third paragraph you can expand a little on how the promotion to sergeant helps to make you the man that they want.
-In the fourth paragraph, I can see that you mention about the academic training and past working experience. I feel that it will be better if you can clearly state down which will suit to whatever requirement from the advertisement.
-End off in the closing statement with a ‘Thank you for your kind attention and time taken’ will show that you appreciate their effort in reading your application letter and commend them for it.
Overall, this letter has good potential for grabbing you a place in Flowserve Pte Ltd as Field Service Engineer. Keep up the good work and I hope to see you in class soon.
Regards,
Ivan